The reason I like working out and eating sensible portions of fast food used to be health related. My attitude is that you only get one body in this life, so it makes sense to take care of it. It's not a car you can beat to shit then say "Ah, fuck it, it's a rental."
My motivation for not becoming a pile of garbage was realized when I volunteered this past Saturday with the Superhealers of Colorado at the Denver Pop Culture Con. I dressed up as Spiderman and it was fucking awesome. Kids wanting to take pictures with you because you bought a $50 costume off of Amazon is pretty cool. Most kids are shy around strangers. Not when they see Spiderman though. They would just come up and hug me around the legs. Wild stuff.
What's this motivation I speak of? This thing is fucking skin tight. If I were to put on this costume then eat a grape, you'd probably see my waistline expand. I'm not fucking kidding. I had a blast volunteering, so now I need to make sure I can squeeze my ass into this thing as long as possible.
Best questions I was asked at Pop Culture Con by kids?
Q: Are you the real Spiderman actor?
A: No.
Q: Can you do a backflip?
A: No.
Actually, I just thought of this, if I get out of shape, all is not lost. I can always transform into divorced beer gut Peter Parker:
Boom. Problem solved. Time to have another slice of pizza.
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