I had a Krispy Kreme Reese's Peanut Butter doughnut this morning, so today was basically the best fucking day of my life.

I get it.  That's a pretty bold statement, but I swear to God I am not exaggerating.  I stopped into Krispy Kreme this morning to grab some doughnuts for work and when I walked out of there with a dozen of these bad boys, a total stranger gave me a head nod.  Respect.  Bringing fat pills into work is a menial task, but somebody has to do it.

I now regret not taking a picture of this, but the doughnut rack that had these in it had a big sign warning you stating that each doughnut is 400 calories.  400 FUCKING CALORIES!!! Holy shit this thing is going to taste good.  Curiously enough, only the Cake Batter doughnut shamelessly stated that it was 350 calories.  No other doughnut had an indicator by it, which led me to believe that there's some sort of law where you have to state that two doughnuts is approaching the calorie count of a Bloomin' onion. (Shout out to the person who found a way to take a vegetable and make it 1,000 calories.)

But let's get back to the topic at hand.  Since I claimed today is the best day of my life, I will rank my top five days of all time.

1. Today

Enough said.

2. My last day before terminal leave in the Navy

This was a fucking awesome feeling.  I remember walking into the IT shop to turn in my hard drive and the government employee who was busy doing nothing asked me if I could come back after lunch to turn it in.  I told him it was my last day and I wasn't going to be here after lunch.  I win.

3. The day I left Ridgecrest, CA

If there is a bigger shithole on this planet, I have not found it.  Words can't begin to describe how much I hated this fucking place.  Dropping off my keys at the Coldwell Banker property management office was THE HIGHLIGHT of my 20's.  The best part was when I went to break my lease via the military clause a few months before, the lady asked where I was moving.  When I mentioned Southern California, she smugly said "That's a higher cost of living area."  I then proceeded to shit down her throat by saying "Yeah, well in the military you get a housing allowance that's based off of the cost of living in the area so I should be able to afford it."

4. The day I got accepted to business school

This might seem low on the list, but c'mon, did you see my top 3?  Hard to compete with that.  Anyway, I remember EXACTLY what I was doing when I got the call.  I was in sweat pants, lying on my couch watching the movie "Jeff, Who lives at home" when I got the call.  Knowing my transition plan from the Navy was a full go and it wasn't anything taught in fucking TAPS class was a fantastic feeling.

5. The day I got orders to leave Ridgecrest, CA

Leaving was a fantastic day.  But getting the call in April letting me know I'd be moving elsewhere in July was pretty fucking great too.  Can you not feel how much disdain I have for this place?  Google Map it then switch to Earth mode.  You will see where my hate comes from.