The Backstreet Boys dropped a new single and time has not been kind

All right people!  Backstreet's back (all right)!  Let's roll the tape!

What the fuck did I just watch?  Good God, I don't think they can legally use the word "boys" in their band name anymore without some sort of disclaimer.  Let's break down some then and now photos of the men who once made 14 year-old girls fantasize about marrying them (which is really gross and fucked up when you think about it).

NICK CARTER

Let's start with the pussy magnet of the group Nick Carter:

Lookin' good Nick!  Too bad that was 1999.  This is Nick now:

Dude is a 38-year-old with a wedding ring, a fuckin' faux-hawk, and a denim jacket.  Pretty tough to sell yourself as a sex symbol to prepubescent teens when you're rocking that combo.

KEVIN RICHARDSON

Ah, K-Rich.  The hottie with the dark features in the group.  K-Rich 1999:

K-Rich 2018:

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Back in '99 maybe 2.8% of the female population wouldn't have sex with K-Rich.  Now?  Probably 2.8% of the female population would feel comfortable letting him into their house to clean the fucking toilets.  Good God, man.  You're 43.  It's too early to have given up on life.  The dirty ass goatee, long hair and that stupid fucking hat.  That shirt?  I think I saw it in the women's section of Goodwill a few years back.

BRIAN LITRELL

Next up is Brian, who also happens to be K-Rich's cousin:

Brian ordering a No.1 meal at McDonald's in 1999.  Brian doing Backstreet Boy things in 2018:

You cannot tell me he doesn't look like a fucking serial killer.

Howie D.

Because he officially goes by "Howie D." I'm gonna assume that "D" is for "Dick-bag".  Serious question:  did any girls actually like Howie?  He always struck me as the guy who benefited by hot by association, so when Nick and Kevin were done running trains on groupies, Howie would show up to scoop up the leftovers that Nick and Kevin didn't have the time/stamina to get to.  Look at this guy, see what I mean?

Not great, right?  Well here he is now:

Well, actually not too bad.  Other than the fact he buttons hit top button like a psycho path, his face is just as punchable as it was in 1999.

Last but not least: AJ McLean

I always respected the fuck out of AJ trying to live up to that token bad boy that a boy band needs.  Like how he refuses to wear fucking sleeves in a music video:

Apparently the dude is still allergic to sleeves:

What in the fuck, AJ?  Are you even allowed within 500 feet of a middle school?  Way to stay true to your shitty ass hat game and add some neck tattoos. The tinted glasses are NOT a nice touch.  I'm sorry, this whole "bad boy" thing in the formula is bullshit.  It's a fabricated persona.  AJ does not drive a motorcycle without a helmet, he does not smoke cigarettes to look cool, and I'm 99% sure that he pulls out.  Sorry ladies - this 40 year-old "bad boy" is in bed by 9PM.  Nice fucking bandana BTW.

Well there you have it.  Can't do a BSB blog without leaving you with the GOAT of boy band songs:

P.S. I bet this fan still wishes it was 1999: