This Libel-ridden article about La Croix can suck my dick

Men's Health has this brand called "Eat this, not That" as a resource to inform that you don't have to give up your favorite fast food joints, you just have to give up the best stuff there.  It's fucking bullshit.  Seriously - look at this BULLSHIT list of things they say you should order at my beloved Chick-Fil-A.  Anyone who orders the grilled stuff is a fucking fascist.

Now that I've totally destroyed their credibility, this article about La Croix is troubling.  La Croix is crack-in-a-can.  I drink a lot of it, it's fizzy, it's refreshing.  What's not to like?  According to the dickheads at Men's Health, this:

Full Article

Due to their acidic pH, flavored sparkling waters can be nearly as corrosive as orange juice when exposed to human teeth for just 30 minutes, according to researchers at the University of Birmingham and Birmingham Dental Hospital. In their 2007 study, the researchers concluded: "It would be inappropriate to consider these flavored sparkling waters as a healthy dental alternative to other acidic drinks." Note — the authors said dental not nutritious.

It’s important to note that this study was done in a controlled lab setting, and the authors mentioned that the effects of sparkling water on enamel erosion in real life would depend on both the amount of drink consumed and its frequency.

According to the LaCroix website, the pH level of LaCroix Sparkling Waters varies by flavor, but overall they are less acidic than traditional soft drinks and juice drinks, so this particular brand might not be as bad as the seltzers analyzed in this specific study.

Allow me to retort:

But wait - there's more!

A study published in the journal Obesity Research and Clinical Practice found that rats who drank fizzy drinks ate more and gained more weight over a 6-month period than rats who drank flat soda or plain water. The rodents who drank the carbonated beverages had more of the appetite-increasing hormone ghrelin, which can cause you to eat more. However, the researchers noted that weight gain can’t be entirely attributed to fizzy beverages and instead “caused by multiple environmental, social and lifestyle factors, rather than carbonation on its own.”

Your studies can eat a dick.  This ruined my fucking day.  Will I drink less La Croix because of this?  Probably, because I'm a pussy and I believe everything I read on the internet.

Fuck.