I found my high school senior year report card, and it is AWESOME

Dug this bad boy up out of a yearbook or old photo album, and I must say, I'm still very pleased with my 17-year-old self.  Now, my high school only calculated GPA thru junior year, so there was no way I could fix my less-than-stellar 3.1868 (unweighted, NBD) GPA, but colleges still see your Fall grades when you apply, so I was still grinding.  My motivation was maybe a Herculean effort could help get me into Vassar College where I could make the Division III volleyball team and major in....something. 

***Spoiler Alert***: Vassar College is a well-regarded liberal arts college and my less than impressive transcript and shitty SAT II scores were not getting me in.

The funniest thing here is just how I stopped giving a shit in the 2nd semester (after I was told to fuck off by Vassar but accepted by two other schools).  For example, let's look at my Calculus grades:

A-, A-, B, B.  What's total horseshit here is how that somehow averaged out to a "B".  Wondering what that number next to the grade is?  Check it out:

As you can see, my B3 in the 4th quarter probably had something to do with my overall grade being a B.  But you know what? I got a "4" on AB calc which was good enough to place out of Calc I at a State School, so whatever.  I'm actually really disappointed in my four years of high school I never got an "8" for effort.  That phone call would have been epic.

Also just want to take this moment to point out what a health and fitness stud I was:

Sup ladies?

What's the point of all of this?  Maybe I'm shocked I've been able to live a decent life despite not being a straight A student.  Sure, high school grades determine where you can go to college.  Where you go to college plays a big part in determining what professional/grad school you get into or what your options are for your first job, but you know what else matters?  Not being a total fucking tool to people.

Man - this blog took a weird twist at the end.  I didn't see that coming.

This is how you execute a DM slide. Take notes fellas.

Naw man.  I ain't like Derek Rose above here.  Some of you may recall that time I was basically dating a former Broncos cheerleader.  Well, here's an update.  After that blog, she liked a few more of my instagram posts (like I said, things are getting serious), so naturally the next step was to slide into her DMs:

BOOM.  Also got this:

My work here is done.