Back in Business: Another Credit Card Blog

All right people, just got the Chase Ink Unlimited business card.  For those of you who are familiar with my blog, you know about my side hustles Just the Tip and Sweep the Leg Consulting.  And by "side hustle" I mean funny names I used to make myself eligible to get business cards and earn sweet bonuses with the Chase ink line of cards.

After cashing in on the 80K points from the Chase Ink Preferred, I cancelled that card because I didn't want to pay the $95 annual fee.  That's the card that was under "Just the Tip."  I'm a big fan of that name for a fake small business so I decided to try to revive it with the Chase Ink Unlimited.  As you can tell from the picture above, I was not successful in doing that.  I even went so as far to register the name with the state of CO to get approved.  That shit cost me $20:

Pretty fucking legit right?  Well, Chase wasn't buying it and they told me to fuck right off.  In fact, I don't think they officially sent me a denial letter.  So I gave up and just used my name as the business since a friend said it'd be easier to get approved.  I said I was an "Independent Artist/Writer" which is kind of true with this blog, but I don't make any money here, so yeah, I guess I'm full of shit again.

Anyway, on to the good stuff: I got this card for the 50,000 point bonus which I'll transfer to my Chase Sapphire Reserve to keep pooling points.

Here's the updated way I amass Chase points:

Chase Sapphire Reserve: 3X points on dining and travel. 1.5 point conversion redemption thru portal.
Annual fee: $450 - $300 travel credit = $150

Chase Freedom: 5X points on rotating categories such as gas, groceries, and whorehouses
Annual fee: $0

Chase Ink Unlimited: 1.5X points on everything
Annual fee: $0

Chase Ink Cash: 5X points on cable, internet, phone, and Office supply stores, 2X points on gas
Annual fee: $0

Some of my friends think this shit is way too complicated, but hey, after this 50K bonus I'll have over 200K points (which equates to $3000 when I book through the chase portal) and I haven't paid for a flight in 18 months, so maybe I nerd out on this stuff a bit more than others, but if you're gonna pay bills and buy shit, you may as well get some free shit for it.

I have new found motivation to not become a fat piece of shit

The reason I like working out and eating sensible portions of fast food used to be health related.  My attitude is that you only get one body in this life, so it makes sense to take care of it.  It's not a car you can beat to shit then say "Ah, fuck it, it's a rental."

My motivation for not becoming a pile of garbage was realized when I volunteered this past Saturday with the Superhealers of Colorado at the Denver Pop Culture Con.  I dressed up as Spiderman and it was fucking awesome.  Kids wanting to take pictures with you because you bought a $50 costume off of Amazon is pretty cool.  Most kids are shy around strangers.  Not when they see Spiderman though.  They would just come up and hug me around the legs.  Wild stuff.

What's this motivation I speak of?  This thing is fucking skin tight.  If I were to put on this costume then eat a grape, you'd probably see my waistline expand.  I'm not fucking kidding.  I had a blast volunteering, so now I need to make sure I can squeeze my ass into this thing as long as possible.

Best questions I was asked at Pop Culture Con by kids?

Q: Are you the real Spiderman actor?

A: No.

Q: Can you do a backflip?

A: No.

Actually, I just thought of this, if I get out of shape, all is not lost.  I can always transform into divorced beer gut Peter Parker:

Boom.  Problem solved.  Time to have another slice of pizza.