This girl having a "Man of Honor" at her wedding makes me have so many reactions

Just when you thought you’ve seen it all life hits you with a “man of honor” and “god father to my children” friend zone caption.

Stuff like this should’ve been banned in the Geneva Conventions pic.twitter.com/nC9mu4rErw

— Jack McGuire (@JackMacCFB) January 24, 2018

OK, let's talk about this dude here.  There are two possible scenarios here:

1) He's gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

2) He is slow-playing the shit out of being in the friend-zone and is prepared to wait this marriage out, possibly sabotage it so that this girl can realize what she's been looking for has been in front of her the whole time.

If I'm the guy that's marrying this girl, I need proof that this guy is gay.  I'm talking HARD EVIDENCE (pun intended).  Like I'm going to text this guy a dick pic and I need someone on the inside to video tape his reaction when he opens that text.  Because you know if this guy isn't gay, he's going to be undermining the husband any chance he gets, he'll be that sympathetic ear for this girl every time her man does something to piss her off like leave the toilet seat up or forget to log out of his Brazzers account.

The joke is on this assclown though.  He is so far into the friend-zone it makes my head spin.  Let's say he's successful in blowing up the marriage after four years, but jokes on him.  This chick will confide in him and ask him to help her pick out her best pictures for her Bumble profile so she can get back in the game.  This girl has two 'X' Chromosomes and the internet.  She's not going to be alone for long and she sure as shit doesn't need to settle for some dickweed who agrees to being the man of honor at a wedding.

Cue the music:

My online for-profit academic career has mercifully come to an end

...and there it is, the final nail in the coffin.  Gettin' that "F" in PUA 5308.  For those of you who have no idea what the hell I've been up to, you can catch up below:

Part I
Part II
Part III

Now that you're all caught up, it's not like my grades were THAT bad being on academic probation.  I mean, look below, my track record looks like a Division I basketball player:

Shitty GPA, a few credits shy of graduation.  That's the American dream.  Except I'm NOT a Division I basketball player.  I'm a working stiff that had 19+ months of the post 9/11 GI Bill left and no reason to go back to a legit school full time, so I set my goal of getting what's owed to me and by my estimation, I've exceeded my wildest dreams.  This letter below let's me know how far I've come:

I had an incredible time going to school online, made no friends, and will cherish the memories that I'll barely remember after I finish writing this blog.  *Sigh* Cue the music: