SOURCES: Pizza tastes better when it's free

Last month I blogged about how I was gonna get a free pizza from Domino's.  Today is my victory lap as I get to enjoy the fruits of my Labor from taking 6 photos of pizza and earning pizza points.  Now, if the picture above looks a little funny like the toppings are just laid at the top, well, it's because I'm a dumbass and I fucked up ordering my pizza.  Looks like my toppings didn't take and a cheese pizza came out.  Shout out to Domino's though for giving me the raw topping to put on top and nuke.

Also, if you don't like pineapple on your pizza, you're welcome to fuck off any time.

McDonald's acting like they just discovered putting bacon on their burgers is why they fucking suck

OMG! Let's put bacon on our shitty Big Mac and it'll be awesome!  What a fucking novel idea.  Look at McDonald's shelling out on mid-tier comedians in their new ad campaign for bacon - the magical meat that every other fast food joint uses liberally and McDonald's is so late to the fucking game:

Gee, I don't know, Wendy's has had the Big Bacon Classic and Baconator on their menus forever and now the dickheads at McDonald's are like "Hey, we should put bacon on our burgers!"  I can only imagine what the discussion in the C-Suite at the house Ronald McDonald built was like.

Stay with me here.  When's the last time you intentionally went to McDonald's for a meal?  The answer is probably never.  It's the place you stop after driving on the highway for 6 hours and just need some fucking food.  It's a place you hit up in the airport because the line is the shortest.  It's the place you go at 2AM after a night of drinking because it's walking distance and you'd have to take an Uber to go toTaco Bell.

There are two reasons I'll go out of my way to a McDonald's:

That's it.  Also, shoutout to me for having bacon be a steady part of my diet.