The College Football Playoff Committee has got to be PISSED at the state of Michigan right now

The Big Ten has had a throwback year to the late 90's and laid claim to the best conference in college Football.  With that comes some complications as they had four teams in the CFP top 10 rankings all of which were in contention for the Big Ten crown coming into yesterday, and oddly enough, the best Big Ten team Ohio State, did not control their own destiny.  There's been a lot of talk about what does the committee do with an 11-1 team that doesn't win its own division, but has wins over Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Nebraska and Michigan on its resume?

That's a question the committee wanted to avoid, so for them it would be simple:  If Michigan won in Columbus yesterday, it would have eliminated Ohio State and Penn State from the CFP picture and set up a clean winner-take-all scenario between Michigan and Wisconsin in the Big Ten title game.

So when this was happening:

You know the committee was like:

But then this happened:

And then the committee was like:

And of course, this happened:

And then the committee was like:

After the dust settled from that epic game in Columbus, I'm sure a committee member who's a glass-half-full kind of guy piped up: "Wait a second!  If Michigan State beats Penn State, then Ohio State will play Wisconsin and we only need to put one Big Ten team in the playoffs!"  So they flip the channel to ESPN and see:

And the roller coster of emotions continues:

But of course all good things come to an end:

And then the committee does this:

So this is what the CFP committee is dealing with right now.  Alabama is a mortal lock.  Nick Saban could walk to mid-field before the SEC title game and take a shit on the 50-yard line, tell the head referee he just had sex with his wife, and walk of the field and forfeit the game and they'd still be the No.1 seed.  So at least the committee has that going for them.  After that it becomes much less clear.  Washington was left for dead after getting worked by USC a few weeks ago, but they just destroyed Washington State setting up an opportunity for another quality win against Colorado in the PAC-12 championship game.  The debate I alluded to earlier is now what the hell to do with the Big Ten.  Two highly ranked teams in Wisconsin and Penn State play for the Big Ten Crown, and you have 11-1 Ohio State.  Flying under the radar a bit is Clemson.  Just a few weeks ago they were a shoe-in, but they were only ranked 4 in the latest rankings, and their resume has continued to take a hit as Louisville has decided to phone it in and lose to Houston and Kentucky in consecutive weeks.  Now Clemson's best wins are against 8-4 Auburn, 9-3 Florida State, and 9-3 Louisville.  They could be the odd team out even if they win the ACC.

What I love about this mess is that everyone thinks they're a fucking genius by saying "Hey, this is why they should have eight teams in the playoffs!"  Right.  So you can be like this guy:

Making an eight team field would just push the controversy down further and you'd have the teams around 9-10 making the case why they should be "playing for a national championship" and be in the eight team field.  My opinion here is that teams ranked 5-8 don't deserve to play for the fucking national championship.  College football has the most crucial regular season in sports (don't even bring up the EPL and how they don't have playoffs.  I'm not here to discuss a European sport) and letting eight teams into the field would diminish the importance.  Look at College Basketball.  There are 34 at-large bids, and you ALWAYS have some team bitching about how they deserved that last 12 or 13 seed.  Get the fuck out of here.  That's why I don't start paying attention to College Basketball until after the Super Bowl.  College Football?  I'm paying attention from week 1.

But hey, after all this craziness, Michigan fans can take solace now that they've fucked Ohio State two years in a row after losing a conference game before playing Ohio State.

Last year, it was this:

If the Michigan Punter doesn't lose his fucking mind and just falls on the football, Ohio State goes to the Big Ten title game.  Instead, MSU wins the tie break, wins the Big Ten, then gets put in a body bag by Alabama in the playoffs.

This year Michigan's loss to Iowa screwed Ohio State.  If Michigan were unbeaten, an Ohio State win would have created a three-way tie between Michigan, Penn State, and Ohio State.  Penn State would have been eliminated due to overall record, leaving Ohio State to take the head-to-head over Michigan.

So even in losing, Michigan fans can smirk at Ohio State being held out of the Big Ten title game.  Man, I fucking love college football.

This Panda Express Infographic about General Tso's chicken is so full of shit that it's fucking hilarious

Where do I begin? So they say Chef C.K. Peng created General Tso's chicken in Taiwan, so why the hell do they have the plane graphic originating in China?  Are they trying to illustrate that Chef C.K. Peng fled communist China to Taiwan to give birth to the Tso's chicken?  I'm sorry, I just have to call bullshit on some chef creating General Tso's in Asia.  If you go to Asia and ask for General Tso's chicken, they'll look at you like you have a dick growing out of your forehead.  It's a completely American fabrication.  Just like the fortune cookie.

I also like how they vaguely saying in the early 70's Chef T.T. Want brought General Tso's chicken to the US.  Kind of a timeline gap there if you ask me.  Then the arrows shooting all over the place as if NYC was the hub of General Tso's chicken is just fantastic.  As if they're blessing all corners of the US with that delicious chicken.  A+ depiction of the Rocky Mountains.

Finally, my favorite fucking part of all this is how they say in LA, 2016 "Panda Express Introduces America's favorite General Tso's chicken".  A little behind the times, are we?  Did you guys just find out about the polio vaccine too?  Practically every fucking Chinese restaurant you set foot in has a version of the General's chicken, and the places that don't serve it don't exist anymore because I went there, got viscerally angry when I didn't see it on the menu, then burned the place to the ground.  "Introducing" General Tso's chicken in 2016 reminds me of this guy:

Oh, and the best General Tso's I've ever had is hands down this place:

Do yourself a favor and pop in if you ever find yourself in State College, PA, or enroll in a graduate program at Penn State and relocate so you can eat the best fucking General Tso's chicken in the world and feel what it's like to have an orgasm in your mouth without sucking a dick.  It's totally worth it.  I've been all over the US and the rest of this fucking planet and I have still not found a better General Tso's.

A Chick-Fil-A opened 3 minutes from my apartment so I'll probably gain 50 pounds in the next 3 weeks

It's finally happened.  The people of Glendale finally have everything they need on one block: strip clubs and good chicken.  This location opened on Wednesday and I went in there for my maiden voyage yesterday.  What did I order?  A medium nugget tray of course.  I don't fuck around.  I'm going to plead the fifth as to whether I brought that to a party or if I just went home and ate my feelings while watching college football.  You'll never know.