Michael Bay made another Transformer movie with the sole purpose of ruining my childhood and you can't convince me otherwise

Look at this fucking poster.  "Rethink your heroes" and then you've got the Decepticon purple in Optimus Prime's eyes.  It gets better.  Take a look at this trailer:

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING ASSHOLE BODYSLAMS BUMBLE BEE?  Bumble Bee was the first transformer toy I had when I was a kid.  Yes, it was a piece of shit and broke after a few months, but I still thought Bumble Bee was the shit.  As for Optimus Prime going full heel as if Michale Bay decided to turn the Transformers franchise into the WWE, this is the Optimus Prime I remember from my child hood:

Just going full HAM on the Decepticons and giving zero fucks.  Does that song sound familiar?  It should:

Is it a coincidence that Mark Wahlberg sang "you got the touch" in Boogie Nights, the same song Optimus Prime wrecks house to, and Mark Wahlberg is in this latest installment of Transformers?  I don't fucking think so.

As for Michael Bay, I'll just leave you with this question posed by Trey Parker and Matt Stone in Team America: World Police:  "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?"

I just ordered wrapping paper from Amazon because I'm a lazy piece of shit

Amazon Prime is the best.  Hands down.  I have a white elephant party this Friday and forgot to buy wrapping paper for my gift.  I thought I would have to endure an after work trip to Target, when I realized, why don't I just order that shit on Amazon?  It'll be here by Thursday just in time for a half ass wrap job.  But you know what's better than Amazon Prime?  $49 Amazon Prime, because I'm getting the student rate, as you may or may not recall my exploits at an online university.

Since I'm getting in the Christmas spirit, let's play the greatest Christmas duet of ALL TIME:

There's a lot of estrogen in that video, and 83% of it is coming from Justin Bieber.